One of the biggest factors that determines whether counselling will be successful is the quality of the relationship between client and counsellor. Finding a counsellor that you feel comfortable with, who you can open up to, who treats you with respect and empathy can be a challenge, especially if you are part of a marginalised group. For members of the LGBTQIA+ community, finding a counsellor who is understanding and affirming of your identity can be a game-changer. And LGBTQIA+ counsellor will make you feel welcome and give you confidence to ask for help without fear of shame or discrimination.

When you attend your first session, you can feel confident that you’re talking to someone who already has a good understanding of basic concepts and terminology. You won’t have to waste your valuable time educating your therapist on what certain terms mean, why it’s important to use the right pronouns or even broader LGBTQIA+ culture and history which can impact the challenges that you’re currently facing. Instead, you can get straight into discussing what’s brought you to counselling so that your counsellor can begin to get to know you as an individual and start finding ways to work with your unique situation.

While sexuality and gender can be a major part of our identity, they are only one facet of a person. Although one’s gender or sexuality will impact their broader experiences in life, they aren’t the driving force behind everything that happens to that person and each challenge they face. Some therapists who are not LGBTQIA+ affirming will assume that if a person who identifies as queer is coming to therapy, that the struggles they are working through stem from their sexuality. And that simply isn’t the case. This viewpoint is coloured by a very old-fashioned view of sexuality that sees heterosexuality as the “norm” and anything that falls outside this is “abnormal”. This is a very outdated way of looking at sexuality, and LGBTQIA+ affirming therapists like myself see all sexualities and genders as normal and healthy.

Although many clients come to me to discuss challenges that aren’t related to their sexual preference or gender, sometimes the issues that they want to work on do relate to these aspects of themselves. In that instance, I am comfortable and confident discussing such issues with my clients without judging or shaming them. Clients can feel encouraged to bring these deeply personal issues to me and know that I will validate their experience and give them quality care.

LGBTQIA+ affirming counsellors will place a strong emphasis on treating all clients with the utmost respect. This means using the correct pronouns and your chosen name in all interactions. This means respecting the your boundaries and autonomy. This means centering your needs in the counselling process and working at your own pace on the issues that are most important to you.

LGBTQIA+ affirming counselling is a vital service, because it helps make counselling more accessible to folks who might hesitate to attend therapy for fear of discrimination or poor treatment. It helps to create a safe space for people to speak about their struggles without worrying about being judged or shamed. And on a personal note, it gives me a chance to create better mental health outcomes for my community, which is something that I deeply value.