Today is Bisexual Visibility Day, which seems like the perfect time to bust a few bisexuality myths. Bisexuality is often misunderstood, which can make it challenging to claim the label, understand your identity as a bisexual person and feel accepted by others. Here are a few of the most pervasive myths about bisexuality.

Bisexuals are only attracted to men and women

Although “Bisexual” is often understood as a binary label, the definition of bisexuality has been expanded over time. Many people who identify as Bi use this term to describe attraction to your own gender and other genders. Bisexual people can be attracted to both cisgender and transgender men and women, non-binary people and gender non-conforming or fluid people.

Bisexuals experience attraction in equal measure

A lot of folks experience anxiety about the degree to which they feel attraction to different genders, and fear that they’re not “truly bisexual” if they don’t feel equally attracted to their own gender and other genders. Bisexuality isn’t about having 50:50 same gender and other gender attraction. You’re still bisexual even if your attraction for one gender is significantly more or less than others.

Bisexuals will eventually choose to be either gay or straight

The idea that bisexuality is just “a phase” while someone is making up their mind about their sexuality needs to get in the bin. Bisexuals aren’t “confused” about their sexuality, nor are they just waiting to meet the right person to decide whether they’re straight or gay. Bi people don’t “pick a side” when they enter a committed relationship, they’re still bisexual no matter who they’re dating. Bisexuality is an identity all it’s own, separate from heterosexuality and homosexuality.

Bisexuals can’t be happy in monogamous relationships

While some bisexual people choose to be non-monogamous, it’s not a necessary ingredient for relationship contentment. There are plenty of bisexual people who are very happy in monogamous relationships, and bisexual people are just as committed and devoted to their partners as non-bisexual folks.

There’s also an unhelpful stereotype which suggests that bi people are more likely to be unfaithful. The logic on this theory goes that because their dating pool is larger, they face more temptation and therefore more opportunities to cheat on their partners. However, there is no evidence to suggest that bisexuals are actually more likely to be unfaithful than any other sexual orientation.

You can’t know that you’re bisexual until you’ve had sex with someone of the same gender as you

Your sexual experience doesn’t determine who you are attracted to. Someone who has never had sex can still identify as heterosexual without anyone questioning them. You don’t have to have had an experience to know whether or not you feel drawn to it, whether it appeals to you. Even if you only ever have sex with people of one gender, you’re still bisexual if you experience sexual attraction to other genders. You don’t need to test or prove your sexuality through experience, it can simply be known.

If you’re bisexual, or wondering if you might be, please don’t be discouraged by these stereotypes. It can be very confusing to sit with feelings of attraction to multiple genders if you’re also carrying beliefs that stem from unhelpful stereotypes. If you’d like some help sorting through these thoughts and beliefs, to help you feel more settled in your identity, I encourage you to reach out to an affirming counsellor like myself. I can provide a safe, non-judgemental space for you to explore your feelings around your sexuality and come to a deeper understanding of yourself.