The terms “Couples Counselling” and “Relationship Counselling” are often used interchangeably. This can create confusion and misunderstandings when hunting for a counsellor that offers the support that you need. Although there are a lot of overlaps between these two styles of counselling, there are also some big differences.

Couples Counselling: is when two people who are in a romantic and intimate relationship attend counselling sessions together to address issues within their relationship. In this instance, the “client” is the relationship itself, rather than the people involved. The goal is to examine patterns of behaviour in the relationship and identify specific areas that both parties can work on to strengthen it.

Couples counselling is most effective for issues such as:

• Communication challenges. The counsellor will observe communication between the couple and identify areas where miscommunication or ineffective communication techniques exist. They will highlight these areas and teach new communication skills to the couple
• Navigating infidelity or breach of trust. In this case, the counsellor will act as an impartial mediator to help the couple to express their feelings and decide how to proceed.
• Intimacy issues. When couples are having difficulty with physical or emotional intimacy, it can be helpful to speak with a counsellor who specializes in this area.

Couples counselling is most effective when both parties attend with a willingness to learn and work through issues. The counsellor won’t take sides or make a “ruling” on which party is right or wrong, they’re a facilitator to improve the health of the relationship. It’s also very beneficial for both parties to also have individual counselling with an independent relationship counsellor to work through their own thoughts and emotions between sessions.

Relationship counselling: is a style of individual counselling where one person speaks to a counsellor about issues that relate to their relationships. Relationship counselling is focused on one person, and gives an opportunity to work through difficult feelings and thoughts, develop stronger communication skills and empower you to make positive changes that will improve your relationships.

Relationship counselling is best suited for the following issues:

• Dealing with strong emotions such as jealousy, envy, anger and frustation
• Working through relationship anxiety and insecurity. This can show up in ways like seeking constant reassurance, feeling worried that your partner will cheat on you or leave you, feeling inadequate or clingy.
• Building confidence in communicating with your partner
• Identifying your own needs and boundaries within relationships so that you can ask for what you want.
• Building up confidence and self-worth to help you feel secure in relationships
• Navigating feelings of shame around sexuality, desire and libido
• Deciding whether to continue with a relationship or break up with a partner
• Addressing attachment issues and wounds
• Building a strong foundation for non-monogamy, and navigating relationship changes as you introduce new partners.

I recommend that people attend relationship counselling before making an appointment with a couples counsellor. It’s a good idea to have an opportunity to talk through your own emotions and get clear on your needs and wants. A lot of the time, issues that we perceive to be “couple issues” are actually individual issues that are manifesting in a relationship. That means that you can make positive changes on your own that can have a strong impact on your close relationships.

It’s also a good idea to see an individual counsellor as well as a couples counsellor. This gives you an opportunity to speak privately about the thoughts and feelings that come up during your couple’s sessions. Couples work can be really emotionally draining, and you may need additional support to help you navigate these strong feelings. It is not recommended that you see the same counsellor for individual sessions and couples sessions, because there are some sticky ethical issues relating to confidentiality and conflict of interest.

I am a trained relationship counsellor, and I am skilled at working with individuals to address their relationship challenges and make positive changes that will impact their close relationships. I have worked with many people who are also in couples counselling to support them as they work through significant conflict in their relationship.

If you want to work through relationship issues, gain a deeper understanding of your patterns in relationships, build stronger communication skills, define your own needs and boundaries and navigate strong emotions like jealousy and frustration, I would love to work with you. Please feel encouraged to get in touch and book an appointment so that we can begin to make positive changes that will help you to feel more secure and confident.