People often assume that in order to work on relationship issues in counselling, you need to see a couples counsellor. While couples counselling can be useful when working through issues such as communication problems and breakdowns in trust, it isn’t the only avenue for addressing relationship challenges.

Individual counselling can be a fantastic tool to help you navigate problems and pitfalls in your relationship. Working through things on your own, developing self-awareness and improving your relational skills are a good starting point when tension arises in your relationship. I can also help you to identify and address patterns of behaviour that might be impacting your close relationships.

Have you ever thought back on all of your previous romantic relationships and noticed some themes emerging? Maybe you have a tendency to become insecure and jealous in relationships, clinging to your partner and feeling anxious any minute they spend away from you. Perhaps you’ve got a history of relationships that start off strong and then just fizzle out. Or you might find that all of your relationships have been very dramatic and full of conflict and big emotions. When patterns like this emerge, it can be tempting to think, “Well, it’s just because I haven’t met the right person. When I meet The One, our relationship will be perfect and all of these problems will just melt away!” But the harsh truth is, if the same issues have cropped up in lots of your relationships, the common denominator is you. You might be inadvertently falling into unhelpful behaviour patterns that are causing the same relationship issues over and over.

You might read that last sentence and panic, thinking that it’s all your fault and that you’re doomed to a lifetime of conflict and anxiety in love. But the beautiful thing about patterns is that they can be broken. And if you’ve noticed that you’re in an unhelpful pattern then you’re already on the path to change. Counselling can be a great way to work through these patterns, understand why they’re happening and find new ways of doing things as you move forward.

Attending counselling to work through relationship issues and patterns is a great way to take responsibility for yourself and find more ease and comfort in your close relationships. I can help you to understand your emotions, figure out how you tend to behave in close relationships and find a stronger sense of security and confidence in your connections.

Discussing these patterns isn’t always easy. It can be vulnerable to talk through things in your past that you might feel ashamed of, or to admit that you haven’t always done things as perfectly as you’d like. You can be assured that I will treat you with kindness and empathy, and that I won’t judge you as we work through these patterns. This isn’t about blaming and shaming, it’s about empowering you to understand yourself better and make positive changes going forward.

Going to counselling for relationship issues can also build your confidence and feelings of resilience. As you learn more robust relational and communication skills, you’ll feel more capable in navigating relationship challenges. Instead of dreading disagreements, you’ll be able to relax in the knowledge that you’re capable of handling them and finding creative solutions.

Individual counselling can also help you to work through a number of other challenges, including:

• Deciding whether to end a relationship
• Prepare for big conversations with your partner
• Help you to understand and communicate your needs
• Figure out how to navigate big emotions like jealousy
• Decide how to proceed after a breach of trust
• Building confidence around your sexuality
• Deepening connections in long term relationships
• Navigating big milestones and changes

Counselling can be a great place to talk through your fears, worries and questions without feeling judged or pressured. I am completely impartial and our sessions are confidential and private. If you’d like to make a booking, you can do so via email, telephone or my online booking form.