The term “Self care” has become synonymous with bubble baths, iced coffees and buying “a little treat”. While all of these things are beautiful and loving things to do for yourself, they don’t really constitute real, nurturing self care. In reality, most self care is pretty boring and dull.

When you’re feeling burned out or stressed, it’s natural to look for something that you can add to your routine to improve your outlook. You might start scrolling on social media to try to find the latest hack to regulate your nervous system, or keeping an eye out for something cute that you can buy to give yourself a little dopamine hit. Perhaps you start watching videos of influencers and their morning routines and wondering if you should also be doing dry-body-brushing or whether the skincare they’re using would make your life feel just a bit more put together. You might justify indulgent or luxury purchases by telling yourself “It’s self-care!”

And look, there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself. But you might find yourself running into trouble if you feel like these things are going to help you to feel calmer, more balanced and more in control. If you’re attempting to solve chronic stress and burnout with bubble baths and iced coffee, you’re likely to be disappointed.

Real, true self care is actually super boring. To me, “self care” encapsulates the tasks you do to look after yourself, to take care of your body and mind. It includes things like:

• Regularly moving your body
• Eating a balanced diet
• Processing and expressing your emotions
• Spending time with people who make you feel good
• Cleaning your house
• Washing your hair
• Going to therapy
• Taking your medication
• Spending time outdoors

But we don’t want to hear about these things, because they seem boring. Because it’s much more enticing to feel like the solution to your problems might be a new outfit or a delicious beverage than committing to doing something as dull as exercising and eating well. It’s also important to recognise that when you’re feeling depressed, stressed or exhausted it can be extra hard to keep up with the mundane self care tasks. We don’t want to be told to do something that seems uninteresting and hard, even if deep down you know that it is likely to make a difference.

That’s why it can be fantastic to talk to a counsellor about your self care routine. I love helping my clients to explore boring self care, find ways to work it into their routines in a way that feels manageable and sustainable and celebrate the wins. It can be challenging to motivate yourself to do this on your own, and having the support of a counsellor can be a huge boost.

If you’re struggling with the boring parts of self-care and would like a hand to develop a manageable plan that works for you, please feel encouraged to book an appointment. I’d love to support you through this.