Grief can be a deeply isolating experience. We often feel alone in our sadness because it can be challenging to find ways to share our emotions. To combat that feeling of “I’m all alone in this”, I run group sessions for people who are experiencing grief and loss. These sessions act as an opportunity for groups who have experienced a collective loss to come together and share their experiences and feelings around the loss.

I have run these sessions for workplaces, families and community organisations who have lost a member or colleague. Often, this loss has been sudden and unexpected and there are a lot of unanswered questions. The group session has offered a chance to ask these questions, express feelings like shock, anger and sadness, share memories of the person that has passed away and find collective solace.

I facilitate these sessions in a fairly informal manner. They can be conducted either in person or online. The session usually begins with introductions and I speak briefly about the purpose of our meeting. I will then invite anyone who has something to share to take the floor. The sessions typically flow quite organically, with me asking questions of the group or offering comfort and support as needed.

I have noticed that my group grief sessions tend to follow a similar trajectory. In the beginning, people tend to offer up their feelings of sadness, regret, guilt or shock. Those are usually the emotions that sit closest to the surface when we lose someone unexpectedly. It’s not uncommon for me to scan the room as one person is speaking, and see others nodding their heads as their own emotions are reflected in what the speaker has to say. When you feel isolated and alone in your emotions, it can be so powerful to hear someone else put words to what’s going on in your head. It’s fairly typical to find that a lot of people in the room are asking the same questions or sitting with the same emotions.

What usually happens next is that people tend to collaborate to find answers to their questions. Particularly in the instance where someone has died as a result of accident or suicide, there are a lot of unanswered questions. And it’s fairly typical for people to be asking the same questions, such as “Was there anything we could have done to prevent this?”, “Should I have seen this coming?” or “Could this happen to me or someone else?”. I’ve been heartened to facilitate groups where these questions have been verbalized, and then as a group we have worked through them to find a satisfying answer.

In most cases, the group sessions tend to end with people sharing stories or memories of the person who has passed away. We typically close on a positive note, with people reminiscing about the person’s most valuable qualities or reflecting on the impact they’ve had on the group.

I always feel a sense of calm walking out of one of these sessions. In Western culture, we don’t often discuss grief and dying, and going through these things is a solitary experience. It can be a relief to have the opportunity to talk with other people who have lost the same person, to support one another and to face the difficult aspects of this loss. We have a tendency to want to sweep the feelings away, and a group grief session can be a great opportunity to talk about them in a supportive, calm environment.

If your workplace, community group or social group have experienced a loss and you’d like the opportunity to attend a group grief session, please reach out and contact me. I can answer any questions that you might have and help to organize a session that suits your needs.