There are so many things to consider when you’re choosing a counsellor. Some people look for particular therapeutic styles and approaches. Some are very focused on credentials and qualifications. Others will look closely at a counsellor’s fee structure or office set-up. While all of these things are important, there’s one vital thing that you need to look out for to predict whether your counselling journey will be a success.

In my opinion, the single most important factor that predicts whether a client will meet their goals and feel satisfied with counselling is: the relationship between the client and the counsellor. If you find a counsellor that makes you feel safe and comfortable, then you’re already well on the way to success.

Why does the relationship matter so much? Well, there’s a few reasons. Firstly, counselling can be a very vulnerable process. You’re going to talk about things that are very private. You might feel shame or embarrassment about some of the issues that you’re bringing to counselling. You need to feel as though the person you’re opening up to is going to receive what you have to say in a kind, non-judgmental manner. You also need to be confident that they’re going to keep that precious information private and confidential.

If you find a counsellor that you feel comfortable with, you’re more likely to open up and speak freely during your sessions. Establishing a great counselling relationship also makes it easier to ask for what you need and to provide feedback on your sessions. For example, if you feel as though you’re rushing through an issue that feels important to you, you can ask the counsellor to spend more time focusing on it. A solid counselling relationship is one where your needs come first, and you feel comfortable voicing requests and feedback.

Sometimes, your counsellor might tell you things that aren’t easy to hear. When we’re delving into painful issues or working on changing behavioural patterns, there might be some difficult truths that come out in the process. It is so much easier to take feedback and reflection from a counsellor that you feel safe with. A kind and empathic counsellor will be able to gently offer these hard pearls of wisdom, and you’ll be able to receive them without feeling attacked or hurt. Facing these difficult truths can be the turning point for significant personal growth, so having someone that you can explore these with is an invaluable part of the counselling process.

Also, let’s not forget that counselling can be HARD. There’s a lot of difficult work that gets done both in sessions and in between them, and doing that work alongside someone you actually like makes it a lot easier. The load feels a little lighter if you’re sharing it with someone that has your back, who makes you feel seen and heard and who you feel is genuinely in your corner.

It’s super important to choose a counsellor that you feel comfortable with, who supports you and that you feel like you have a solid relationship with. The relationship between the counsellor and the client is honestly the single most important thing in predicting whether counselling will be successful.

If you need to figure out whether I’m the right counsellor for you, there are a few things you can do. Firstly, you can jump over to my Instagram account and take a look at my reels and posts. I love posting videos to give you a sense of what I’m like and the topics I’m passionate about. You can also check out some of the podcasts or television appearances I’ve done on my About Me Page. Finally, you might like to book a free 10 minute phone consultation to give you a chance to chat with me and ask any questions that you might have.