Most of my grief counselling clients are people who have recently experienced a significant loss in their lives. These losses take different forms, and the common thread between them all is that they’ve left the person grieving and in pain. Grief counselling is a great way to acknowledge these intense emotions and begin working through them. But what if you haven’t experienced a loss yet, but you know that one is on the horizon? Can grief counseling help you to prepare for a loss that hasn’t occurred yet?

Many losses come out of the blue. But occasionally, you might find yourself facing a loss or transition in the future. You might be caring for someone who is terminally ill. Perhaps you know that your child will be leaving home soon. Or maybe you’re planning to have a beloved pet euthanized. Whatever the loss, it can be helpful to speak to a grief counsellor before the loss event itself.

When you’re dealing with a future loss, you might experience what is known as “Anticipatory grief”. This is when you begin feeling emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, yearning and grief before the actual loss occurs. For many people, anticipatory grief can be even more challenging than the grief that’s felt after a loss. It can feel really confusing to be grieving for someone or something that’s still present. I can support you while you’re experiencing anticipatory grief and help you to feel more centered about the upcoming loss.

I can also assist you with decision-making in the lead up to the loss event. Often, there are practical choices that need to be made before the loss occurs. While I’m not able to provide advice or answers, I can help you to explore your options to help you arrive at the best decision for you. It can be really useful to speak about these things with someone impartial, because often the people close to you will have strong opinions about what they believe is the right thing to do, and that can be confusing.

Grief counselling can also help to prepare you for the feelings of grief you may experience when the loss actually happens. In general, we aren’t great at talking about grief, and loss is often shrouded in secrecy. A lot of the time, people feel really confused and unsettled when they are grieving because many aspects of the experience feel strange or don’t make much sense. I can spend some time talking with you about what grief might look like, educate you about some common aspects of grief and plan ahead for how best to support you when these arise. Sometimes, simply knowing what to expect makes grief seem a bit less frightening.

While grief counselling before a loss won’t remove the feelings of grief you’ll feel, it can make them a little bit easier to manage. Gaining support to make practical decisions, create a self-care plan and manage anticipatory grief can ease feelings of overwhelm and anxiety when the actual loss occurs. If you know that you’re facing a big loss or transition in the future, it can be really helpful to speak to a grief counsellor to gain support before it happens.