When I was studying to be a grief counsellor, I was shocked to realise that pet loss was barely touched upon. It was only a few brief lines in the syllabus. This surprised me because I’ve found the loss of a pet to be a profound and unique source of grief. I’ve known so many people who have gone to pieces at the loss of a beloved animal, and found it challenging to find support for this loss. So, I resolved to incorporate pet loss into my counselling practice, to offer support and comfort to people who are grieving the loss of a furry friend.

Pet loss falls within the realm of “disenfranchised grief”. Grief is disenfranchised when the culture or community that we live in doesn’t consider the loss we’ve experienced to be one that is worthy of mourning. Unfortunately, grief that springs from the death of a pet is less likely to be met with empathy and compassion. People around you might say some really thoughtless things when you tell them why you’re upset:

“It was just a dog, it’s not that big a deal”

“You’re overreacting, there’s no need to be so dramatic”

“You can get another pet”

The lack of support and understanding around pet loss makes this type of loss particularly isolating. You might feel as though you’re carrying this grief alone, because there is nobody that you can talk to. You might have feelings of shame for grieving so deeply for an animal. There might be additional pressure to “just get over it” and pretend like everything is normal, even though your heart is broken.

Pet loss can often bring with it some complicated emotions. Guilt and regret are really common, particularly if you’ve made the choice to have your pet euthanized. There is often a lot of worry around whether you made the right decision, or whether you did the right thing by your furry companion.

The loss of a beloved animal can cut surprisingly deep. For a lot of us, our animals are our closest companions. They’re there when you wake up in the morning, and then lay down beside you to sleep at night. They greet you when you arrive home and keep you company throughout your days. You might confide your greatest fears in them, or cry heavy tears into their furry neck. A pet is a constant presence in your world, and when they’re no longer around it can feel destabilizing and deeply upsetting.

Speaking to a grief counsellor can be very helpful when you’ve lost a pet. I’m an animal lover myself, and I’ve never been without a pet in my life. I’ve been through the heartbreaking process of mourning them when they pass away, and have made the difficult choice to euthanize some of them. I understand how difficult it is, and I will listen to your story and treat your loss with respect and compassion.

I can also help you to work through some of the big emotions that might be coming up. If you’re struggling with guilt, regret, shock, sadness or anger, we can process these together and help you to move through some of the painful emotions that often arise after the death of a pet.

If you’re feeling isolated in your grief, like nobody in your world understands what you’re going through, then grief counselling might be a good next step for you. I can provide a safe, shame-free space for you to talk about your pet, express how much they meant to you and discuss how their death has impacted you. We will move at your own pace, and I’ll never force you to discuss anything that you’re not ready for. Grief counselling can be a very cathartic experience, and can help you to feel seen and supported in your grief.

Grief counselling can also be helpful if you have a pet who is ageing or unwell, that you know is likely to pass in the near future. I can support you in the process of deciding how to manage their final weeks and months, or assist with making difficult choices. I can give you an opportunity to work through your anticipatory grief so that you can be truly present with your pet in the time you have left together.

If you’ve lost a pet, or are feeling worried at the possibility of losing a precious furry friend, please feel encouraged to get in touch and book an appointment. I would be delighted to work with you and support you during this difficult time.