Connection is one of the most fundamental human needs. We need it to feel safe, secure, happy and fulfilled. In order to feel connected with others, we need more than simply being around other people. It’s not enough to share a space with others: to sit next to someone on the bus, to be in a crowded cafe, to go to a social gathering and hug the wall. You can be in a room full of people and feel completely disconnected and alone.

In order for connection to be felt, we must be seen and heard by another person. There has to be that moment, however fleeting, where we feel as though we’re sharing something with another person. Connection can be felt in something as small as someone smiling back at you, in eye contact, in the brief touch of a hand. It can be something bigger too: a deep conversation, a long-running joke, someone holding you while you cry. We all need these moments of connection, of feeling as though the person we are with “gets” us and is right there with us sharing the experience.

The amount of connection we need differs from person to person, but we all need it. None of us can move through the world feeling invisible, untethered, disconnected from all the people around us. To live in this state is to wither, to fold in on yourself, to feel helpless and hopeless.

Connection is one of the most valuable things that counselling can give to you. Having someone devote their full, undivided attention to you; taking time to truly listen to what you are saying and understand what you’re going through, is the most therapeutic part of the counselling process. Even more so than the solutions or revelations you might uncover, even more than the insights you might gain, having someone be with you completely, to see you and hear you is the most important gift that counselling offers. Connection helps us to feel safe, it helps us to feel as though we aren’t alone. Being able to fully share your struggles with someone else who won’t judge or shame you can make all the difference when you’ve been carrying that burden alone. We all need connection, and connection can be the place where you find safety and healing.