The holidays can generate a lot of financial pressure, and this year more than ever folks are feeling the squeeze. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been impacted by the rising cost of living, and I’m hearing from a lot of folks who are feeling stressed out by finances as they navigate the holidays. I wanted to address this challenging topic and provide some suggestions to help you to manage.

Talk about it

A lot of us find it difficult to talk about money. We’re taught that it’s not “polite” to discuss finances, so it can feel uncomfortable to raise the subject with our nearest and dearest. On top of that, you may have complicated feelings tied up in your ideas around money. Many of us have a belief that financial wealth is linked to personal success and worth, and it can feel shameful to admit that you’re struggling.

However, these feelings of worry and shame can be more intense if we keep them to ourselves. Talking about our worries and struggles can help lighten the load, and will alert the people around you to the need for help. Take comfort in the fact that most of us are struggling with money at the moment, so it’s very likely that if you bring the topic up with friends and family they’re probably in the same boat. Taking the leap to initiate this difficult chat can pave the way for them to express their worries as well, and then you can support and encourage one another.

Focus on what’s important

During the holidays, there can be a feeling of pressure to do All Of The Things. There is an endless list of activities, events to attend, projects to complete, recipes to make, gifts to purchase and so on and so on. We can get caught up in the whirlwind of trying to do everything, while not actually enjoying any of it. This also puts additional financial pressure on us is money is already tight.

I’d encourage you to sit down and reflect on which aspects of the holidays are most important to you. What things do you get most excited about? What do you look forward to? If you can identify just one or two aspects that really make your heart sing, then you can focus your time, energy and budget on making these special. It also gives you a chance to strike off the things that don’t matter to you, those which feel like obligations rather than desires. Maybe you really love decorating the house, but don’t care about a fancy meal. In which case you could treat yourself to some gorgeous decorations, and just have a simple meal. Maybe you’re excited about catching up with friends you haven’t seen in a long time but aren’t that fussed about presents. You could agree to forgo pressies in favour of a special get-together. Focus your resources on doing the things that actually matter to you.

Making things special for kids

There’s an added layer of stress for parents, because you want to make the holidays special for your little ones. It can feel very difficult to cut corners or make sacrifices if you have lingering guilt or worry that you’re letting them down.

Similar to what I’ve suggested above, you might like to spend some time chatting to your kids about what they like about the holidays. Try to focus your attention on the things that matter most to them.

You might also have to have some honest conversations with them to help manage expectations about big holiday events or gifts. You could also try to focus their attention on what you do have, by saying things like “I’m really glad that we were able to share this time together, that feels really special to me”.

Take a social media break

Take note of how you feel after scrolling through your social media feed. Do you feel happy and inspired by the flood of holiday posts? Or do the pictures of people posing before a perfectly-curated tree, eating elaborate meals and opening lavish gifts leave you feeling insecure, inadequate and low? If so, it might be worth limiting your social media consumption. If Instagram and TikTok are adding to feelings of low self-worth and heaping on the pressure to have a decadent holiday, take some time away. Set an app timer on your phone or remove the icons from your home screen.

It can also help to show yourself a little bit of kindness. Remind yourself that social media posts only show you a very curated view of someone’s experience. A lot of social media influences spend a lot of time and cash creating those perfectly aesthetic posts to draw in followers. For many of them, it’s literally their job! Be gentle and kind with yourself, and remember this quote from Steve Furtick:

“Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes everyone’s highlight reel”.

The holidays can be a wonderful time of the year, but for many of us it can be a time of additional stress, isolation and worry. This is especially so if we’re under financial strain and feeling stressed about money. I hope that you can find ways to set boundaries, confidently talk about financial stressors and manage expectations to have a lovely holiday season.

If you’re struggling with stress around finances, family dynamics, social isolation or other issues during the holiday season, please feel encouraged to get in touch with me to book an appointment. I’d be happy to help support you to get through this challenging time.

Last Saturday, I joined Matt Tribe on ABC Radio to discuss this topic. You can listen to the recording of that segment right here. My interview begins at 1:18:19 of the recording.